Two Become One

This morning around 6:24, I was awake. My body does that sometimes. Especially when the night before I realize that I'm on the other side of 25 - almost 27, which probably explains the graying hair, the need for nail strengthening vitamins and the necessity of putting lotion on my feet every night just like my mother because years of barefootedness have finally caught up to me. But that is another blog for another time.

Anyway, this morning my eyes pop open and I can't seem to find my way back to sleep. Probably because I realized that on Eowyn's Life Plan, I should have just welcomed my third child and be well on my way to completing our family with a fourth in a few very short years. But once again, for another time. So usually when I can't sleep in the middle of the night, I just cuddle Bryan. I snuggle up against him and strive to match my breathing to his. I don't know if it's the slow rhythmic breathing or the intoxicating smell of my husband, but it works every time. I'm out within minutes. So this morning, I just reach a hand over to my softly sleeping husband so I can take comfort in him. (Sidenote: he always sleeps so softly. Honestly, sometimes I check to make sure he's still breathing because he's so quiet.) Then it dawns on me. This is what God intended when He said the two will become one flesh.

He intended for man and wife to be so connected that they even breathe together. (Not all the time obviously - I'm speaking metaphorically here people!) One in mind, body and soul. That's what I have with Bryan. I have absolutely no doubt that he was created with me in mind. He's absolutely perfect for me. From the way my head fits on his shoulder and the way my body fits perfectly in the crook of his arm to his mannerisms and personality. If you've ever read Hunger Games (and if you haven't you TOTALLY should), you know the relationship between Peeta and Katniss. One of my favorite parts in the whole series, is when Katniss compares herself to fire and Peeta to a dandelion. That's describes Bryan and I perfectly. I'm passionate and wild, and he is so soothing and calm. He soothes me when I'm trying to blaze out of control. I create just enough spark in him. We're balanced. 

He is literally my other half. He completes me. (Not more than Jesus, but you get what I'm saying.) When he is gone from me, I feel lost. I can't imagine never having him. He is part of me now. We are one. A unit. Connected. Forever. His heart is so intertwined with mine that if it ever leaves, it will surely ruin me.(Newlyweds...I know) This was God's intention for a husband and wife. For our hearts to be intertwined with each other, that we cannot be separated. Total and complete oneness.

Sometimes I say really weird things when I'm hugging Bryan like: "I love you so much I just want to get in you." which I admit is kind of creepy. But I mean it in a "I love you so much that I was to be as close as absolutely possible to you, even becoming one with you" way, not a Luke Skywalker inside a Tonton way - although when it's super cold I'll admit that sometimes I joke about it. Haha I'm kidding. Sort of. Back to the point. I want to be one with Bryan. I want to have the same goals and dreams as him. I want us to move and act and even breathe as one. Like I love doing things that I like and watching him do things that he likes, but I want us to be united overall. Two people that are one. If you're married, I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say. If not, well...reread this when you're married and you'll probably understand better. It's difficult to explain. 

Needless to say, I did not go back to sleep this morning. The writer's brain in me overtook everything else. All I managed was waking Bryan up before his alarm went off and this blog. Hopefully, one of them is worth it.