Princess of Worry

So I went to see a movie with my mom tonight and it invoked some interesting ideas within my mind. The movie: How Do You Know starring the lovely Reese Witherspoon. Now before you go considering that I am going to go on some strange stereotypical rant about how do you know when you're in love and other such cliche nonsense, let me say: It has absolutely nothing to do with that! Haha

The part of the movie that most appealed to my sense of wonder came in a conversation between two supporting characters, not even the main ones. A girl had just had a baby and her boyfriend was proposing to her and he called her "the princess of worry." The construction of that phrase has such an elegant sound that it immediately caught my mind's eye. Worry is so commonly construed as a negative thing. However, using words like princess somehow casts a different light on things. It's even different than being the queen of worry. Somehow "queen" makes the phrase much more harsh. Princess carries the perfect amount of innocence and grace to make the phrase quite appealing.

I think I'm a princess of worry. Now you might be wondering why on earth I would want to be considered royalty of a negative thing. If you know me, especially as of late, you are quite aware that I am a worrier! I worry about everybody, even those who don't give a hoot about me. As previous posts suggest, there have been times when I have wished that I could quite worrying about such people. But I cannot. I have often thought of it as my cross to bear so to speak. Yet now, I am thinking that I am just a princess of worry because in the words of Al (the boyfriend) "it's just becasue I have such a big heart."

Maybe this is just more prevalent because I have new friends who understand the completeness of my worrying skills. (Yes skills!) Even today I realized that I have subconsciously been worrying for like a week about one of my friends. (Secretly, I think he's mad at me because I accidently lied to him. Yes it was an accident. It's a complicated story for another time. Anyway...) I haven't heard from him in almost 2 weeks. It's been somewhat surreal. Well today he posted on facebook that he was going on a roadtrip and suddenly I felt like this giant weight had been lifted off of me. I know that may seem stupid because technically he still hasn't talked to me and may very well still be mad. But, I know that he's okay. He's doing something fun and he's okay. Thus I do not have to worry because I know that, at least he is safe.

So I don't know. Maybe this means nothing to you and you feel like you've wasted a good 5 minutes of your life reading this post. But to me, it meant soemthing, and I just thought I would share. Personally, I'd rather be considered a "princess of worry" thana "worry wart."

Completion!

I am having trouble finding words to describe the ecstasy that I am currently fulled with. The sheer joy of finally accomplishing a seemingly impossible goal! AND accomplishing it one whole day early! No late night panicking or cramming or throwing something together last minute. I have just submitted my FINAL assignment for my FINAL class for my FINAL semester as a college student! In less than 72 hours I will be a college graduate, complete with degree!

Everything got real as I clicked Submit on that assignment. I have a whole entire day tomorrow to relax and just be "done." Finally after 4 and a half years I am finished with something great that I had to work hard for. All those feelings of wishing that I could skip this time in my life have melted away. I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world.

Tears swell in my eyes as I savor my sense of accomplishment. This task was by no means easy and I DID IT! I FREAKING DID IT! There has already been a celebatory 13-year-old squeal and dance around the living room. However, I am sure before 6:30 Friday night, there will be several more. I will no doubt perform this dance with all of my friends and family over the next several days. And it will be a sweet sweet dance every time it is performed.

To every single person out there that has every supported me or even believed in me for half a second - THANK YOU! To every person who ever challenged me and pushed me to be better - THANK YOU! And to every person who thought I was a failure and would never amount to anything - THANK YOU! How's it feel to eat your words??? I feel a bit like Terrell Owens here but your lack of confidence in my abilities has spurred me on to GREATNESS! So thanks for that!

Hallelujah Praise the Lord of Hosts! You have brought me through the fire and I SURVIVED! Now I will follow you forward into the awesomeness that you have planned for me. I cannot wait to go on this adventure. So this is what it feels like to excited about life again? I had almost forgotten...