Wednesday, July 30, 2014

"Thinspiration" From a "Fat" Girl's Perspective

So I just heard this new song "All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor. If you haven't heard it yet, you can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk . If you don't want to listen, I'll sum it up for you. Basically the girl is proud of her curves and booty. Her mama told her not to worry about her size because "boys like a little more booty to hold at night." I'm really digging this song and here's why: a) It's super catchy and b) The music video is super cute.

Bet that's not what you expected. I bet you expected me to say I liked it because FINALLY curvy girls are getting some props for being beautiful. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that it's finally okay to have curves. But at the same time, this song saddens me because it seems to discriminate against women who don't have curves. Like why can't we all just be beautiful? Why do I get to be more beautiful because I have curves or less beautiful for the same reason? It's really rather ridiculous when you think about it.

I have several friends who are super skinny. I also have several friends who are in the middle. And I have several friends who are on the bigger side. They are all beautiful in their own ways. And the funny thing is - no matter what size you are or how good you think you look, the grass always seems greener on the other side. My skinny friends are jealous of my cleavage. I'm jealous of the fact that they can go without a bra. Seriously...they get to wear strapless dresses without suffering the horrors of trying to keep a strapless bra up. But they wish they had the cleavage popping out the top of that same strapless dress that I have. My cousin and I joke all the time about halfing my boobs with her so we could both have the "perfect" amount. (Sorry if that's TMI.)

And it doesn't just go for sizing. It goes for everything!!! We wish we had that girl's eyes, another girl's booty, another girl's legs, her lips, her nose, her hair. Prime example: my friend Brittany recently had several brain surgeries and a stroke, so her head had to be shaved. But she is TOTALLY rockin' the red pixie cut. Man I wish I could pull that off. But the irony of the fact is that she wishes she had my long ponytail. Every woman does it. 

Why can't we just be happy with what we have? I'm not saying don't appreciate the beauty of others, but don't depreciate yourself in the process. I've been doing Blogilates with Cassey Ho this year. If you haven't heard of her, go to blogilates.com and check it out. Seriously, she'll change your life. Like for real. You know why? Because she constantly reaffirms that every woman is beautiful just the way she is, but it's okay to want to change yourself for the better. It's okay to be chesty or have no chest or have a thigh gap or constantly wear tights because your thighs literally love each other so much that they try to smother each other if you don't separate them. It's okay to have some excess tummy fat that you want to lose. It's okay to want to bulk up your arms or lose that jiggle. Everything is okay because ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL IN THEIR OWN WAY!!!  Marilyn Monroe was curvy. Audrey Hepburn was skinny. I adore both of them for their uniqueness and for their just overall awesomeness!!! They are a perfect example of the simple fact that beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. 

So while I like the song, it's frustrating at the same time. I don't want to be fat-shamed anymore than skinny girls was to be thin-shamed. Is that even a thing? I think it is. "Men love women with curves." "No one wants to cuddle a stick." It's just all so.....unnecessary. And this is coming from a girl who spent most of her life being "fat." It's not fun to be judged based on size. Let's not do it to girls who are thin, just because curves are being recognized as beautiful again. That's counterproductive. Thin girls struggle just as much as big girls. My cousin tries to gain weight all the time so she's not "too skinny" but she has this thing called a metabolism that prevents that. I try to lose weight so I'm not so "chunky" but I have this thing called a sweet tooth. I'm a baker people. And I'm proud of it. I love ice cream and cake!!! (I also like that Bryan now works for a big company so I can pass off all my treats on them. But that's another story for another time. Lol) There's nothing wrong with that. That's the way God made us. My cousin and I are from the same beginning set of genes and we couldn't be more different in size. Does that mean she's better than me or I'm better than her? No!!! She's Audrey and I'm Marilyn. And we're both pretty legit.

Let's all just rebel against the whole thing!!! Thigh gaps. Fat-shaming. Thin-shaming. The whole ridiculous nonsense. Can we do that? Can all women just agree to stop talking about this whole size issue? Then maybe it'll finally die and we can focus on more important things like family and community.

You're beautiful!!! I'm beautiful!!! We're all beautiful!!! So while I'll definitely be jamming to this song, it won't be because I think curvy girls are better than skinny girls. It'll literally be because it is just SO DARN catchy! And it makes me wanna shake my big ole booty. Haha :)