Life is an interesting thing. Everyone knows it's a journey, but we don't always realize that sometimes you have to drive across West Texas. For those of you who have never driven across West Texas, allow me to enlighten you: It takes FOREVER and there is absolutely NOTHING to look at it. It's just miles and miles of dirt and shrubs. It's probably similar to driving across Oklahoma or Kansas. After making this drive, I understand why pioneers suffered from prairie madness. It's enough to drive anyone crazy.
That's the road I'm on currently. I'm just in-between cities on this long journey. I'm halfway between young adult and adult, halfway between college and married life. It's a long trip. I have to just keep on going and be patient. I'll get there soon enough.
But the drive is agonizing!!! I'm beginning to suffer from prairie madness. What do you do in the meantime? What do you do while you're waiting to arrive at the next destination of the journey? What do you do to make the time pass quicker?
I suppose this is the time of my life when I should be settling into a career and beginning life on my own before I join to another for my happily ever after. There's only one slight problem with that....I don't want a career. I've never wanted a career. Since I was a child, I've dreamed of nothing more than being a happy homemaker, to raise a family and care for my husband. I don't want to climb the corporate ladder. The thought seems quite drab. I'm quite happy at the bottom of the totem pole because I have no intentions of staying there forever.
So this time must be when I figure out who I am in life right? Well I've already done that. I figured out who I was in the year long break I took from men while I was finding myself and waiting for Bryan to find himself so that we were two complete people instead of pieces trying to mesh together in a construction paper collage. Now we are beautiful art that compliment each other just right when hung next to the other. So I'm happy with who I am. Just not where I am.......
In the meantime....what do you do in the meantime?
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Hmmmm. This is tricky. I'm in a similar place, but less with marriage and more with babies. I try to live in the moment, and I think about that Trace Adkins song, "You're Gonna Miss This." I try to take it all in, this specific place in time that I will never inhabit again. Everything will happen in time, and we'll look back on this and miss it! I want to make sure I don't squander it the first time around.
ReplyDeleteOf course, all of this is easier said than done, and sometimes I will see a baby at the store and it makes me cry because I want one so badly. But still. One day at a time!