Adventures in Alone

Well Bryan is officially gone now. He left Monday night to begin his big adventure in Waco. I know that he had to go and all that junk, but it doesn't make it even the tiniest bit easier. I know he'll be back, but it won't be anytime soon. Sure 2 years doesn't seem so long in the grand scheme of things, but having only been apart 24 hours so far...it seems like forever. But there's nothing to be done about it now. No amount of pouting, moping, or crying will make him come back any sooner than he has to. Thus, I will learn to be alone...


I think the hardest part is the silence. The never ending silence. I'm a talker and now I have no one to talk to. Sure we talk on the phone but it's almost impossible to watch T.V. or play around on the computer and still hold a decent conversation on the phone. When you're with someone, in the same room with them, you can gauge their reactions and facial expressions and communicate non-verbally. Hopefully Bryan will have internet soon so we can skype together. 


I know I can do this and I know I'll be fine. But right now...I'm taking it one day at a time. Can I make it through the entire work day without crying? That part is easy. There are distractions everywhere and I can always trick my brain into thinking that he'll just be waiting when I get home. Like he has been for the past 6 months. It's the actual going home that's the hard part. When I turn that corner and he's not sitting on the couch deep in a game of Madden or Starcraft. He doesn't look up at me and smile and say "Hey babe." in the way only he can. The cat's not meowing for me to open the bedroom door at night. It's just quiet. Almost like a ghost town. Perhaps I'm being overly dramatic, but I miss him. I fell in love with all these little nuances and I never realized it until they all became absent. 


Sigh....only 23 months and 30 days to go right?