There are things going on right now that I don't want to talk about, simply because I don't want to acknowledge that they are actually happening. I don't want to accept reality as it is at this moment. I don't want things to change.
Can it really only be 30 days until the love of my life leaves me? Not forever mind you, but for a good year and a half at least. 30 days!!! Less actually. The lump in my throat grows and I struggle to breathe anytime we have to discuss another aspect. It feels like we're breaking up, though I know we aren't. Discussions of who gets what when the move happens don't help.
Am I strong enough to survive this season? Is our relationship strong enough? I've been in this place before and the territory is all too familiar. I don't like the uncertainty. I don't like the distance. I don't like change!
Things are far from in place on my side. Still no housing arrangements. Still no friends. Still no idea what I'm going to do with the hours of empty space I'll have when work ends everyday.
I fell sick to my stomach. I want to cry. But I must be brave because I know he is suffering as well. This is not an easy time, but God is my refuge and my strength. He is my friend in times of loneliness. I can do all things through Christ!!!
Deep breaths....
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deep breaths, indeed! you have a lot going on, friend. when i get overwhelmed, i tell myself over and over, "The universe tends to unfold as it should." From Hitchhiker's Guide! You've gotten through lots before, and you'll make it through this. Hang in there!
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