Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

As I sit listening to my darling boyfriend play video games and smell the delicious mulled cider candle I just lit, I can't help but be reflective. Life has changed so much in the past two weeks. Change for the better. Change I've been waiting and longing for. Let's start at the beginning...

In case you didn't catch it in the opening sentence I have a boyfriend now. The infamous Bryan Pearce wandered back into my life and this time I've decided to keep him. Haha :) He is a classic nerdy gentleman who is sweet and compassionate and gentle and everything I could possibly want or need in a man. And I do use the term 'man.' He is not a boy as so many of my previous companions have been. He's the real deal. I'm a pretty big fan of him.

I am currently sitting at his house in Odessa. It's not just for a quick visit either. This is where I've come to call home (don't panic everyone! I'm staying with a family friend, not Bryan!) Two weeks ago I was still living in my parent's house wondering when life was going to start. And then out of the blue....it was going.

I have a job here now. It's temp work but hey, it's a job. It's so weird to be away from my family; to not come home and start dinner with my mom; to not fight with my brothers constantly. Last week was difficult, I'll admit. There were a LOT of tears. Homesickness was my middle name. I just didn't feel like I had a place to call my own.

This week is better. Bryan has graciously allowed me to take over his house (hence the new candle) and carry out my domestic desires. It's a win-win for him. He makes his girlfriend happy and simultaneouly gets a clean house, clean laundry and dinner every night. It's a pretty sweet gig. He lets me cook and clean. He shares his home with me so life can carry on with some sense of normality.

So I cleaned the kitchen and went grocery shopping today so I can make dinner for the two of us for the first time tomorrow night. (fingers crossed that it doesn't come out black) I enjoyed it.  It wasn't a chore. I guess somewhere in the past few weeks....I grew up. It's a strange feeling. I'm 24 now and for my birthday I got knives and kitchen towels and measuring cups and decorations for a future home. And I couldn't have been more pleased.

It's strange how you long for life to start - to have a boyfriend to love and a house to make your own and a job to pay your bills. You wait and you pray and sometimes you wonder if it'll ever happen. And then one day you wake up and you're in your boyfriend's living room with a fall-scented candle burning next to you and tears of joy in your eyes.

Cheer Spreaders Since 1945

Mariah and I took a trip to Dallas this weekend and we had an absolutely amazing time! (Well I did....I think she did too...haha) Anyway, on Saturday night we decided to go to Hard Rock Cafe for dinner. So we got dressed up as ladies tend to do when going to dinner at a "fancy" restaurant and went. It was a bit late in the evening and the restaurant was busy, but we were soon seated and ready to enjoy dinner. I'd like to say that the evening was quickly....going downhill. It was getting boring so in typical Mariah and Eowyn fashion we looked for a way to entertain ourselves.

Now it has been said of Mariah and I once or twice that we choose our friends. That we find someone and just decide without talking about it or thinking about that so-and-so is now our friend and will be treated accordingly from now on. This was the case Saturday night. Our waiter came to take our drink order and he was amazing!!! Like I said it was getting late and Blake (our waiter) expressed that his feet were hurting as he had been serving for most of the day. So we told him to pull up a chair and take a seat, which he did and it was all downhill from there.

He was such a sweetheart and such a great waiter. He would try to get his other tables taken care of quickly so he could come and sit and chat with us. He told us it was because we were cool with his personality, like we were okay with him sitting because his feet hurt and we were okay with him neglecting to bring us our ketchup because we knew he was busy taking care of other people too. We were just cool with him and let him be himself. The table behind us left him his number which was funny because we were joking about them being jealous of him hanging out with us. He told us that he had a collage of numbers that he had collected from tables. So in typical Mariah and Eowyn form, we pulled out some paper.

Not to leave our numbers obviously, but to leave him a note. A simple note expressing our gratitude for his great service and just how generally awesome he was. (Note writing is totally a lost artform by the way. People think a text is enough nowadays, but that can be erased and forgotten. A handwritten note....that's different!) He informed us that we were the most amazing table he's ever waited on! Made us feel special. And then we left. Mariah and I talked about the event on the way home and how we tend to gravitate toward people like Blake.

Anyway, the next day plans didn't work out with other friends so we decided to just eat at Hard Rock again (the food is amazing as is the atmosphere) and we found ourselves in Blake's section once again. He was overjoyed to see us. He told us that he had had a hard day so far and was really hoping that we would come in. Then he pulled out his server book and showed us the note we left yesterday taped inside! He said that he put it there so that whenever he was having a bad day he could read it and remember that people like us are the reason he waits tables. Really??? Wow!!! To be honest, I could have cried. We weren't trying to be life changers; we were simply trying to be make him smile for maybe a few minutes. Perhaps laugh a little.

Long story shorter....we spent the next 3 hours just sitting there eating, relaxing and chatting when he had a moment. He had clearly told all his coworkers about us as many people referred to us as "his girls from last night." When we finally decided that it was time to get on the road home, he said he was sad that we had to leave. We could tell that he really enjoyed having us there. He gave us a hug on our way out, told us to find him on facebook and to always ask for his section when we came into town.

So what's the point of this whole long story? I honestly don't know. But I feel like there's a reason that Mariah and I randomly adopt people like Blake for some unknown reason that honestly we don't even know. There was just something about him that made us want to be extra nice, to go that extra mile. He wasn't a Christian. Conversations made that obvious, but is that a reason to treat him like every other person? I don't think so. I think it's a perfect reason to treat him better! Now did we preach Jesus to him and turn him life around? No. We didn't. Should we have? Perhaps. But did we show the love of Jesus to him??? I think we did. If nothing else, maybe on a day where things are really bad, where he's feeling like there's no hope, he'll glance at his server book and remember that note. Remember that someone on the planet thinks he is amazing!

Maybe I'm overanalyzing. But I can't imagine that it coud ever be a bad thing.......

God Appointments

Ever have those moments where you just feel like you're in the "right" place at the "right" time? Lately, I've come to think of them less as coincidence and more as God appointments. I'm apparently at one right now.

Yesterday my mom came to get her hair cut and our hair stylist informed her that she needed someone to cover the reception desk today. My mom asked if I wanted to do it and I said sure why not? It's money in my pocket and experience for the future, right? Anyway, I'm sitting here today and I'll be honest - it's been pretty slow and boring. But my "boss" just got a call that one of her clients passed away. This news coming on the heels of the death of another one of her clients. Needless to say, it's been a rough week for her. Now she's trying to keep it together for her last 3 clients of the day. She got off the phone and looked at me with tears welling in her eyes and felt compelled to apologize to me. I quickly asked if she needed a hug (honestly, I didn't know what else to say or do). When she nodded, I grabbed her and pulled her close.

Right place, right time? I'd say so. I'm so grateful I took the job despite the urge to just be lazy and sit at home today. I love it when I get to be Jesus with skin on.

It makes me want to puke

3 years later and I'm still dealing with nonsense stemming from that ridiculous jerk? Really Eowyn? Well it's official: the man that was once my fiance is now the fiance of the girl I once called best friend. Complicated enough for you? It's like I got drug into a stupid love triangle and apparently I'm going to have to continue to be informed/annoyed/haunted by the whole thing until Jesus comes to get me. I don't have a lot to say on the subject because I don't really know exactly how I feel right now. I can honestly say (with God as my witness) that I wish them all the best as I lean my head over the toilet to dispose of what was once a delicious dinner. Graphic, yes! A pretty accurate description of how I feel at the moment, oh yeah!

Jeremiah 29:23

My new favorite place

Recently, Stacie took me to a store called Concho Confetti. It sells a bunch of old stuff and it's really neat. Well mom and I went on Saturday to look around and I feel absolutely in love with this store. The reason can be summed up in this picture.

There is a corner of this store that contains old black and white photos that people apparently just didn't want anymore. Now I don't know if my mom just raised me right or if I'm a weirdo, but I have a strange passion for thigns from the old. I LOVE it! I stood for a good 15 minutes digging through this pile of pictures. There were baby photos and wedding photos and random photos. There were about 50 cents a piece so I picked out $5 worth and then forced myself to walk away. I loved looking at all those pictures and trying to figure out who the people in them were, where they were, what they were doing. It's interesting to me. It was sad at the same time because someone didn't feel that those pictures were important anymore so they just threw them out. It's tragic that someone's baby pictures and wedding pictures are being sold for 50 cents now. One of the pictures I bought has a story on the back of it. It's awesome! I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with the pictures I bought but I'll figure something out. I just couldn't leave them behind. I'm sure I'll be frequenting that little corner of Concho Confetti quite often now that I know what treasures it holds. If nothing else, the pics are good inspiration for stories. :)

(There's also a section of filled out postcards! One was from 1928!!! LOVE IT!!!)

What the heck am I supposed to be doing???

Honestly, this whole no job, no ideas what I'm doing thing is starting to get old. I cannot force myself to even look at the one thing I technically KNOW I'm supposed to be working on and pursuing. I think the sheer fear of completely failing AGAIN is sucking all the fun out of what I love. I don't wanna be rejected. Could it be possible that I wasted a good 4 and 1/2 years getting a degree in something I love but am apparently not that great at? Surely not....right? I know I can write. I do it all the time. I can do it in my sleep. So why can't I do it when it counts?

Lately, I've been wandering around trying to figure out just what exactly I want to do, besides get married and have a family complete with house to manage. The ideas of marketing and baking have been floating around. I have no idea what marketing even entails though so I'm a little weary on trying that. I love baking. Like literally LOVE it. It's my stress relief. But I don't think I'm a pastry chef type person.

I don't know. I think that's the whole problem. I just DON'T KNOW! It's getting frustrating. Can a girl get a little encouragement here? Maybe a litte direction? Is that too much to ask? I hope not. Cuz I'm asking for both...

Childish

Am I the only one that searches for comfort when things go crazy? Surely not. However, I may be the only one that seeks comfort within the confines of childhood. Things are crazy right now, thus I find myself searching for comfort in the things that made me happy 10 years ago. Even now, i'm eating Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch in my pjs while watching TV. Granted I'm not watching cartoons, but that's mainly because cartoons these days are terrible. I have the extreme urge to pull out my colored pencils and my Disney coloring book and color while I watch "The Little Mermaid." I also wanna bake cookies, which is usually a sign that I'm stressed out. Yes, I admit it - I'm a stress baker. So what do all these things mean? Am I depressed? Doubtful. I mean, granted it would be perfectly understandable considering the recent events. But I really don't think I am. I think I'm just in that grieving period where my soul seeks soemthing familiar to heal it. For me, that equals Barbie dolls and video games. I've always been like this. I guess I just didn't realize it recently because I was a nanny and when I wanted to play with toys all I had to do was go to work. So why am I rambling on about all this like anyone cares? I have no idea. Part of the therapy perhaps? Probably so. Now I'm going to go. I have a date with Mr. Walt Disney! :)