It's freezing outside. Literally. Temperatures are hovering steadily below 32 degrees F. The whole world is covered in a blanket of white. At first glance, it appears to be a beautiful bed of snow. However, upon further investigation, one realizes that everything is covered in ice - cold, hard, unforgiving ice. Despite its similar beauty, it is a poor substitute for the other. It is but a slight shadow of the reality. Am I speaking to my soul right now?
I've been in a comtemplative mood for awhile now. It's not just the weather. Clearly something is different because I write the word 'I' in reference to myself, something I almost NEVER do! I cut my hair today, got bangs. For the first time in my life, I look popular. I have popular friends now too - real ones that actually know my name and don't just want to cheat off me. I wonder if the hair will change me. I've changed alot lately. I'm much nicer now and genreally more calm. But I find myself wondering...
Is this the shadow of reality or the blanket of snow? Was the horrendous person I used to be the layers of ice attempting to masquerade as something beautiful? I think the latter is true. I feel as if that horrible ice is finally beginning to melt away. Perhaps I am finally becoming myself again. If only it could be so! How marvelous would that be! It comes slowly and some days are frozen, but the gnawing chill of desperationg grows faint as I live to make myself happy and not for the approval of morons. My soul is quiet most nights and my eyes glow with mischief once again. My heart beats fast in the face of injustice and breaks at the sight of misfortune. It's time to unlock the chains and free my heart; time to once again be driven by compassion and love! Time to once again be myself - the sweet, adorable, strange little girl that I am!
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