Close the Windows!

Poem written for my Creative Writing class. Have I mentioned that I adore that class?

Close the Windows

Close the windows.
Lock the doors.
The wind is a tornado
of destruction in my life.
It's carrying away
my hopes,
my dreams,
my goals.
The world teases me.
It lets me play
with what I want,
but never lets me keep it.
There are students
that I teach and encourage,
but they are not my students.
I am not their teacher.
I am only the aide.
There are babies
that I love and care for,
but they do not belong to me.
I am only the nanny,
a faint substitute for mom.
There are stories
that I write and am proud of,
but I am no author,
simply a dreamer.

The wind carreis away my love.
I can only grasp at it
as it flies out the window.
My best friend
is a boy I love
who loves another
and will soon marry her
instead of me.
My father is sick.
He is dying.
He will never get better,
only worse,
until he is gone forever.

Life slow down!
You pass too quickly!
I'm falling behind.
I'm spread too thin.
Seal up the windows!
Blockade the doors!
Before youth has passed me by,
before I'm old and regretful,
before my dreams are nothing but,
before it's my time to die.

I long to marry
my best friend
in a church
with my father
by my side
down the aisle.
I long for sweet baby feet
to toddle behind
calling me "mama"
as they cling to my legs.
I long for a classroom
with my name
on the door
full of young minds
ripe for molding.
I long for books
with my stories inside
with my name
on the cover
to fill the shelves
of Barnes and Noble.

I long to live life.
To enjoy it.
To make it my own.
Close the windows.
Lock the doors.
The wind is a tornado
that steals my hopes,
my dreams...
my life.